The Novelty of Sobriety
I got sick and tired of drinking.
I also got sick. And I also got tired from it.
These were the main reasons to quit.
I wasn’t happy with the habitual nature of my drinking and how it had become a case of drinking for the sake of drinking and no other reason besides.
So I suffered withdrawal symptoms and took on a bunch of tasks I had otherwise been ignoring.
Things turned around. I felt fresh and sharp.
I looked forward to waking clear headed and in spite of insomnia even began to await bedtime to try new techniques to try and get to sleep (I’ve found crosswords to be quite effective).
I also noticed a big increase in energy levels and motivation. I became excited about projects I had been letting slide.
Yesterday evening I properly craved a night of drinking.
Of course I didn’t want to slip back into my habit, and I probably wouldn’t have enjoyed the intoxication, and waking this morning, fuzzy headed and possibly pained I would have berated myself, however, waking this morning I no longer felt the excitement of sobriety as I had until now.
Like any state, as it becomes the norm, it loses its edge. It’s the same with drink or drugs.
There will be a period where things are different and interesting, but sooner or later one gets bored with it.
Unlike the initial decision to quit and withdrawal or insomnia, there are no ‘tricks’ now. Cleaning the house psychologically readied me for a change. The idea of taking on withdrawal like a battle as a means to beat it was a game and I won. There are no crosswords to fill that will keep a sober lifestyle from becoming more and more mundane.
It is now about conviction.
There is the option of engaging in a regular activity which precludes alcohol. To be honest, I hadn’t thought this far ahead.
And to be honest, in the back of my mind I am treating this as an experiment out of the norm, even if I say the whole idea is to make sobriety and appropriate drinking the norm.
I have one more ‘trick’ or goal – one more hurdle to face and that is two days from now when I take on a full night’s social drinking and aim to come out the other side a responsible drinker who will not begin habitually drinking again.
I will possibly need a ‘trick’ or two for next week, lest I allow room for my ‘Inner Alcoholic’ to tempt me.
